


Hide and Go Snake

by JoyfulOmens (IDontHaveACleverQuip)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Hide and Seek (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Crowley is an Idiot Aziraphale Loves Him Anyway, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Hide and Seek, Is this a mystery?, Lots of Snake Cuddles, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Snake Crowley (Good Omens), incorrect pet care, potential angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22219519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IDontHaveACleverQuip/pseuds/JoyfulOmens
Summary: Hide and Go Seek. A simple child's game had become a fond pastime to wile away the boring years. But while humans counted numbers, Aziraphale and Crowley counted years.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 33





	1. Count Two, Be Seeing You

**Author's Note:**

> hheeeeehehe~ Okay so I know I have several active fics. None of them are hiatus or discontinued, I just write them all little bits at once because I'm bad at focusing. 8'D
> 
> Talked about this fic a bit on discord with [J_Anthony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Anthony/pseuds/J_Anthony) and [Splashattack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splashattack/) and I'm STOKED to hear the reactions as it progresses! This will truly be a test of my story telling skills XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was going to post this AFTER work today, but the car slid into a ditch and it's still snowing, so I guess I'm staying in! Have a fun new fic!
> 
> Beta'd by [Splashattack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splashattack/) & [J_Anthony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Anthony/pseuds/J_Anthony)

As two immortal beings who were not unaware of how boring the quiet years in human history could be, Aziraphale and Crowley had created a game. While they would usually attempt to claim the machinations of humans as their own meddling, in this case they had to admit the humans had it right. 

Hide and Go Seek. A simple child's game had become a fond pastime to wile away the boring years.[1] But while humans counted numbers, Aziraphale and Crowley counted years. 

_Count to ten and come find me._ One would say. _At fifty I win._

The usual stakes for the winner, once they began to add stakes, followed much the same as the Arrangement. The winner got the next decade off, while the loser did all the tempting and the blessing. 

As Ethereal and Occult beings, their hiding places weren't limited to where they could crouch behind something. The limit was well and truly their imagination.

There were rules, of course. No willfully changing location or disguise. No overt miracles. And, after Crowley had escaped detection beyond the designated 50 years when he'd fallen asleep in his own flat where his aura blended in with the ambient demonic energy of the location, no hiding in or near home.

It was a game that allowed them to stretch their wings, so to speak. A game they really enjoyed. It was also a game they hadn’t played in quite a while.

–––

After the failed end of the world, and their escape from execution, things had returned to relative normalcy for Crowley and Aziraphale. Which, unfortunately, began to get a bit stale. They were both out of a job, and struggling to act like it didn't bother them. Not to mention their precarious relationship after two tense breakups that dinner at the Ritz, and two years implicitly Not Talking About It hadn't quite resolved.

It was, surprisingly, Aziraphale who suggested it. 

While the duo sat together feeding the ducks at St. James Park by force of habit, the angel found himself interrupting a rather monotonous rant about London traffic.

“Count to five.”

Crowley startled at the unexpected words, his mind taking a moment to process them. But once he did, he tensed, ready to leap to his feet. “I’m not waiting _five years_ to find you! I already thought I'd lost you before! I'm not doing that again!"

"And that's exactly why we should," said Aziraphale. "We've got too much to think about and it really has been a while since we've played or relaxed at all. We need this, Crowley."

"Ngk, fffine." Crowley hissed unhappily. "But I'm only counting one."

“Hm. Four and I’ll stay in London.”

“Two and you can use all of the United Kingdom."

“Deal!" Aziraphale agreed, shaking Crowley's hand. "In two years you come and find me. Do so and you win, but if you haven’t by 10 years, then I win.”

“And the winner gets?” Crowley prodded, already missing Aziraphale, almost dreading the upcoming game.

“Oh. Right. I suppose the usual stakes won’t work this time.” Aziraphale gave a forced chuckle. It hadn’t been long enough yet to forget 6000 years of playing sides.

“Not with us retired, angel," said Crowley.

“Yes, rather.” Aziraphale hmm’d pondering what he could want from Crowley. Well he had a feeling he knew exactly what he wanted from Crowley, but it felt far too soon to broach that particular subject. Could even just be lingering effects of fearing for their lives, Aziraphale assured himself. “How about, you will do whatever I say for the following decade.” There, that was a pretty standard wager. And it would give him plenty of time to discover if his current thoughts were fleeting or here to stay.

“What?!”

“If I have to wait ten years to be found, then it’s only fair.”

Crowley choked and stumbled through several sounds that could almost be mistaken for speech before he found his words. “ffINE! And if I win, you do whatever _I want_ for a decade!”

“Then it’s settled! Might take yourself a nap, darling, two years start now.” Aziraphale stood from the bench, sparing a smile to Crowley before miracling himself away.

Crowley sighed and slouched into the bench. "We'll never stop dancing around each other, will we…"

–––

Anthony Zira Fell was eight years old when he found a snake in the garden. 

"Hullo, mister snake." The young boy offered to the reptile as he crouched down to watch it slither through the grass.

The snake lifted its head and made eye contact. "Hallo, angel."

**⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰**

1 Especially through the fourteenth century.[return to text]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO! Thoughts? ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> \--  
> You can also find me on [tumblr](https://joyfulomens.tumblr.com/) and my [discord server](https://discordapp.com/invite/G6vPRmn), feel free to stop in and chat!


	2. His Name is A. Zira Fell (and He's Not a Wizard)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What has happened to Aziraphale?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by [Splashattack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splashattack/) & [J_Anthony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Anthony/pseuds/J_Anthony)

Anthony Fell, who really preferred to go by Zira if anyone asked, stumbled and fell on his bottom. "Snakes don't talk," he gasped. "Wait…am I a wizard?" He was a rather well read boy, after all. If a snake was talking, what else could it mean? Unless it was just a magic snake. He was rather hoping for the wizard option.

The small black snake tilted its head curiously and flicked its tongue tasting the air around Zira. "That's...not possible."

"Oh…it's not?" Zira's mood fell slightly. "Well…but you're still a talking snake. So that's something, right?"

The possibly magic snake flinched back from Zira and hissed. "What the Hell– Fuck. Of course they would do something like this! We were finally– All because of this stupid game!"

"You're not supposed to say that word. Mum says it's only for adults, and you look to be a very small snake." Zira scolded the ranting reptile, having no idea what the serpent was on about.

The snake made an unintelligible noise. If Zira were asked to spell it, he'd probably say it sounded like 'Ngk'. "Are you alright mister snake? Or are you a miss snake?" Hard to tell with snakes after all.

"Hhhh doesn't matter…"

The snake slumped…did snakes slump? Zira wasn't sure but this one certainly seemed to. "Would you like to come inside? Mum says I shouldn't invite in strangers, but she never said anything about snakes. We have a pet snake too, you know. I bet you two would be great friends! He's an albino, that means he's all white, instead of normal snake colors like you are." While he spoke, Zira offered his hand for the black snake to climb on.

The snake surged forward and curled around his arm almost too tightly for a moment before loosening like a small snake hug. "Okay, kid. Whatever you say." 

The snake's sad tone went unnoticed due to Zira's excitement at possibly making a new friend. "Basil will love you! Mum says garter snakes like to live with friends and get lonely, but Basil has me, so he's been fine, I think. And now he'll have you, too.

"Easy, er… What's your name now?"

"Oh, sorry, guess I forgot." Zira blushed sheepishly. "I'm Anthony, Anthony Fell, but I like my middle name, Zira, best."

The snake stiffened and stared at him. "Anthony Zira Fell. A. Z. Fell." 

"Yes, that's me." Zira smiled at the snake, feeling a bit uncertain. Was there something wrong with his name?

The snake shook its head as it mumbled. "Go- Somebody, how you managed to fool Heaven…" A hissed sigh followed the odd comment. "You can call me Crowley."

–

Crowley wasn't sure how he should feel at his latest discovery. 

After eight years and following far more false leads than he'd ever admit to, he was positive he'd finally found his angel. And being actually held by the child made it impossible to miss. Zira was absolutely coated in Aziraphale's aura. 

_He's an eight year old kid, he's not some priest named Ezra with freakishly good biblical fact recall._ Which meant the only answer for Zira's aura of holiness was that he WAS Aziraphale! It wouldn't be too outlandish. Crowley could recall hiding out as a piece of furniture once, before they made the rule of no changing your hiding place. The problem was, Aziraphale was always good about following the rules of the game. Once you're called out, it's over. Crowley _should_ be celebrating his victory watching Aziraphale dine at the Ritz and settling in for a decade of having an angel at his beck and call. Instead, he was being escorted into a child's bedroom and introduced to an overweight white garter snake.

"Crowley, this is Basil. It's short for Basilisk, isn't he so fearsome?" Zira giggled at his own joke, as the chubby snake flicked it's tongue out in their direction. 

"Charming." Crowley said, eyeing the obviously pampered pet. This garter snake wouldn't last five seconds in the wild, and not just for its coloring. 

"Zira, it's time for supper!" A woman's voice echoed into the room startling the boy in question. 

"Oh, that's mum! You don't mind sharing Basil's tank, do you, Crowley? It's just, well obviously I haven't told mum about you yet. She'd be quite cross with me if she knew I was letting a snake loose in the house. Even if you can talk."

"Right. No. I get it. That's fine. I'll just cozy up to _Basil_ here, and see you when you finish." Crowley, somehow, hid his irritation.

Zira beamed and placed Crowley gently in the tank. Basil shirked away from the new snake in his enclosure, but otherwise didn't react. "I'll be right back you two. Be nice to our new friend, Basilisk." 

Once Zira was out of sight, Crowley turned to his new companion. Thankfully part of being a snake was the ability to talk to other animals as well, so it didn't surprise Crowley in the least when Basil started talking.

"Crowley?"

The demon in snake form sighed, hopefully this _Basil_ was pampered enough he wouldn't have heard of the first snake. But Crowley had been wrong before. "That's my name. I guess introductions are in order?"

Basil flicked his tongue out at Crowley, curiously. "Introductions?" Crowley found himself making note of how soft Basil's voice was. Usually when he spoke to snakes their voices were rough and sibilant from lack of use. They did tend to be pretty solitary in general.

"Yeah, 'course! As an– the kid said, I'm Crowley. And you're…"

"Basil." The garter chuffed the name out. " _Obviously_." Was that a laugh? "Young Zira said my name as well."

Oh lord, the snake was _sassy_. "Right, yeah. Just trying to be polite, I suppose. Don't know why." 

Basil flicked his tongue at Crowley a few times in curiosity, before moving closer. "If you don't mind me asking, what has gotten your tail in a twist?"

Crowley hissed in response and slithered away from the housepet. "None of your concern, poppet. Just do what you usually do, I'll be out of your hair soon enough."

"Haven't got hair. Being a snake and all." Basil snarked back, not missing a beat.

Crowley found himself missing Aziraphale all the more. "Ha, ha." He slithered to the complete opposite side of the tank and hoped Basil got the message to leave him alone. He was tired. He was frustrated. He was scared. Never a good combination for a snake, much less for a demon.

What could Hell have done to Aziraphale? Or could Heaven have been involved too? No question about why either place would have it out for them. Probably still pissed about the apocalypse. But why Aziraphale! Why couldn't they have gone after him instead?! Now he was all alone and who knew if Aziraphale would ever remember him or recover! Crowley had been looking forward to the next decade regardless of who won, honestly, but now–!

Crowley startled out of his downward spiral by the feel of recently lamp-warmed scales rubbing against his own. "What do you think you're doing?" He asked venomously, but made no move to get away. 

"You looked like you could use a good cuddle." Basil answered gently as he twined around Crowley's coils. 

Crowley found himself choking on air and hissed. "I'm a _demon_ , we don't _cuddle_." 

"Of course not." Basil agreed, and continued to coil. 

Crowley hissed louder, but…Basil felt like Aziraphale…

Zira was very fond of the garter snake, so it made sense the pet felt like him. Aziraphale's bookshop was practically alive with the angel's supernatural energies. Just like Crowley's Bentley was near sentient with his own. 

Basil's body pressed next to his was warm and calming, and gave Crowley hope. If Zira could still affect the world around him without meaning to, then he was still an angel. Even if he didn't remember that yet. Crowley just had to be patient.

Luckily, he had 6000 years of practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crowley misses Aziraphale so muchly! What could have happened? ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> \--  
> You can find me on [tumblr](https://joyfulomens.tumblr.com/) and my [discord server](https://discordapp.com/invite/G6vPRmn), feel free to stop in and chat!


	3. Home is a Person and He's Gone Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now for some light angst!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did actually do research on what I wanted Basil to look like for this xD 
> 
> I picked a garter snake for Basil because they like to socialize and cuddle and come in so many varieties. It's also easier to get white and morphs than natural colored ones as pets. But when I say a lot of morphs I REALLY mean it. I got overwhelmed and ended up picking the first one that fit the story xD He's not Albino, he's [leucistic](http://www.albinogartersnake.com/images/price_leucistic.jpg). Zira just doesn't know the difference.
> 
> Beta'd by GingerBeer; [Splashattack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splashattack); and [J_Anthony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Anthony)

For three weeks, Crowley laid low. 

Zira's mom had yet to fully enter the boy's room, at least to Crowley's knowledge, and nothing demonic or angelic had been on the premises, aside from Aziraphale and himself. There likely wouldn't be any occult or ethereal visitors, seeing as they'd already done something to Aziraphale. But Crowley refused to drop his guard, especially after what had happened the first night…

Zira had just returned from dinner, regaling Crowley and Basil with the fantastic meal his mother had made. Apparently the woman was a five star chef, which didn't surprise Crowley in the least. Naturally, Aziraphale wouldn't want to give up his fine dining experiences for so long. So, of course, Crowley had to comment.

"Bring any back for us, then?" Crowley slipped his head over the lip of the tank. "Wouldn't mind a taste of five-star cooking myself, how about you, Basil?" He'd meant it as a joke. Zira couldn't speak to animals; at most he expected the garter snake to nod or shake his head.

Instead the white serpent hesitated, before speaking. "Well, I...certainly wouldn't mind." 

Crowley had chuckled anyway, that is, until he looked back to Zira and saw the kid's eyes as wide as dinner plates .

"Basil can talk now, too?!"

Which is what lead to Crowley's current bout of paranoia. Zira had made Basil talk. Not just talk animal to animal, no. Talk _human_! Something Basil had apparently never done before. Crowley felt he could only blame himself.

Zira clearly still had all of Aziraphale's powers. Which meant if he assumed something should be one way, it would be. Oh G- Somebody! It was the antichrist all over again! That had to be their plan! Only this time they were going to make _Aziraphale_ end the world. And here Crowley was stuck playing hide and seek with a superpowered child who couldn't remember him or that they were playing a game at all!

The increasingly familiar feeling of just-warmed scales rubbing against his own snapped Crowley out of his latest panicking spiral. And then there was Basil...

“Hallo, Basil,” Crowley hissed, refusing to let himself melt into the comfort the other snake miraculously brought him every time this happened.

“Sorry,” said Basil, unapologetically. “You were doing _That Thing_ again.”

Crowley flicked his tongue curiously. “That Thing?”

“You know. Where you fret about something until you might as well be tying yourself in knots,” Basil said matter of factly, slithering and coiling around Crowley so their bodies touched as much as he could get away with.

“As opposed to _you_ tying me in knots.”

Basil hissed a laugh. “Do you want me to stop?”

And that was the problem, wasn’t it? Crowley should be busy finding out what had happened to Aziraphale, not canoodling with a random pet snake! Yet he couldn’t find it in himself to tell Basil to bugger off. The garter snake felt so comforting and so drenched in Aziraphale’s aura. Crowley knew why that was, having seen how often Zira picked up and played with the fat snake, but he still craved it so much. He missed his angel.

So instead of responding, Crowley chose his age old solution. He deflected. "Your eyes are blue, aren't they?"

"Er. Yes. They are," Basil answered with a confused tongue flick. "Why?"

"A- Zira said you were albino. Albinos have pink eyes, not blue."

"Well, he is only eight, you know. I'm sure he was simply mistaken."

"So if you're not albino, then what are you?"

"Er. I'm sure I have no idea what terms humans would use for my coloring. I'm just a snake, after all."

"Yeah. I guess you are." Crowley felt a heart-wrenching sadness at his own comment. He had to get away. Squirming his way out of Basil’s coils, Crowley headed for the top of the tank where Zira never felt the need to place a lid on his (now two) well behaved snakes.

“Where are you going?” Basil called out, concerned and a bit irritated at having lost his cuddle partner.

“Out.” Crowley hissed, hoping his voice sounded less upset to Basil than it did to himself. “I-I need to do some research on things.”

“Will you be back?” 

Crowley hesitated, but only for a moment. “Y-yeah… I’ll be back. Tell the kid not to worry.” Then he was out of the tank and miracling himself to his flat in Mayfair.

–

Crowley's flat was as bleak and empty as it'd always been. Minimalist, he'd said to Aziraphale when the angel asked, but they both knew the truth. His flat wasn't his home, so he never tried to make it into one. Crowley's home was a stuffy, over-crowded bookshop with an even stuffier angel inside.

Except now, when the bookshop stayed empty and when Crowley was spending all his free time snuggling an overfed pet instead of trying to help Aziraphale.

Crowley groaned and began pacing. "Hate this game, never should've agreed. Finally had everything we wanted, didn't we?" A self deprecating laugh left the demon as he flung himself into his ridiculously ornate throne and propped his feet on the desk.

Hide and seek. Just a simple game of hide and seek. They'd done this dozens of times and never had an issue. It was fun! It was a bit of alone time with the promise of seeing each other again. It was laughing for years afterwards once a notably ridiculous hiding place had been discovered. It wasn't supposed to be like _this_! Heaven and Hell had _no_ place in this.

Another frustrated sound left the demon and he dropped his feet back to the floor. "Okay. I can fix this. Just gotta find out what 'this' is." Crowley snapped his fingers upwards, turning on the TV.

The mindless drone of daytime television filled his ears, but he paid it no mind. He wasn’t here for the soaps, he had a call to make. Without him speaking a word, his intention was understood by the television, which had no intention of pissing off a frustrated and emotionally compromised demon at any point during its technological lifetime.

The moaning actress on the screen instantly paused her crying over whatever tragedy had befallen her and turned to face Crowley with a cold and calculating look. “What the bloody Heaven do you want, traitor?” the actress’s face melted away into that of the Lord of the Files themselves.

Dagon. Excellent. Crowley donned his best sneer and lounged in his throne, attempting to appear as in control of the situation as possible. “Yeah, just checking in. Wondering what you lot have gotten up to with my angel.”

“Your angel,” Dagon repeated with a perfect disaffected scowl that goths everywhere could only dream of. “I’m sorry, for a moment there I actually thought you had a reason to be calling us.” 

Crowley growled and launched himself out of his chair, his carefully calm and collected veneer sliding off like water. “Listen here, I told you I should be left alone! Now you’ve done _something_ to what’s mine!”

“Hell hasn’t done anything, Crowley. We may be demons but we keep our word.” The ‘so long as it’s beneficial to us’ went unsaid. “We don’t have your angel. We’ve kept up our side of the bargain, non-interference for however long you manage to keep your slimy corporation on that rock. Perhaps you should be doing the same?” Dagon sneered and did the equivalent of slamming the phone on the hook, as their form melted off the actress who returned to the dramatic scene as if nothing had interrupted the show at all.

Crowley sat back down with a cold chill running through him. Had it been Hastur, Crowley would have doubted anything he’d been told, but Dagon wasn't Lord of the Files for nothing. If they said Hell hadn't touched Aziraphale, then Hell hadn't touched him. That only left Heaven… 

Crowley left his flat, frustratingly no closer to figuring things out than he'd been before. He made the customary stop at Airaphale’s bookshop, having found himself spending more of his time not looking for Aziraphale here than at his own flat. 

The door opened without a key, knowing better than to try keeping him out of Aziraphale’s safe haven after so many years sharing it with the angel. The books had remained unmoved, the dust undusted. Everything was exactly as it had been left ten years ago when the game began and he started counting. In two more years he would’ve seen his angel again, whether he found Aziraphale or not! But now… Now he’d found his angel, he was positive of it! Yes, Crowley had made mistakes in the past while searching for Aziraphale, but this time he knew. He’d felt the angel’s grace; his aura surrounded Zira and his home like a beacon! 

“But he doesn’t remember me,” Crowley said. A bottle of cheap wine appeared on the table with a snap and he tore the cork out with his teeth, intending to drink right from the bottle. It was a shoddy vintage, the cheapest on the market, but Crowley didn’t care. What point was there in good wine without Aziraphale to share it with?

With his gloomy outlook not improving, Crowley drained the bottle, then miracled it full again. This repeated itself several times more before the effects of overindulgence finally began to kick in, allowing Crowley to lose himself to inebriation.

The demon fell asleep where he lay melancholy on Aziraphale’s couch, surrounded by the angel’s essence still permeating the books and even the very walls of the establishment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAA I'VE HAD THIS DONE FOR A FEW DAYS NOW AND KEPT FORGETTING TO POST IT! If I ever take a while to update something, PLEASE remind me! I am SO forgetful! Most rapid method would be through discord! You can @ me on my [Joyful Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/G6vPRmn)!
> 
> Also! A channel for this fic has been added to the Joyful Discord! I'd love to chat about it with you all! 83


	4. Return of the Sn-edi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the only pun that would come to mind XD;
> 
> No beta this round, ah well! As I've been told by dear TEHE, the only bad chapter is NO chapter! So take it!!

It was morning when Crowley groggily forced his eyelids open. A novel experience, using his eyelids, but not so much an enjoyable one. If human eyes didn't dry out so badly during a long nap he would demand they stayed open the whole time.

He yawned and stretched as he assessed where he was and gradually let his mind catch up to the waking world. A casual flip through his phone to check the time, stopped his imagined heart cold.

In an instant he was on his feet. "Shit!"

-

Zira trod droopily into his bedroom. "I'm home, Basil." His favorite, most supportive, snake stuck its head out of the tank to greet him.

"Another long day?"

Zira nodded and flopped onto his bed. He'd make the mistake of telling his classmates about Crowley not long after the black snake had moved in. He'd never considered that Crowley would _leave_. 

He'd been branded a liar, and teased relentlessly after leading a few other kids home to see his new snake, only for said snake to be gone.

That had been three _months_ ago. While the teasing had let up (three months was ages to school children) he'd gotten farther away from actually making any friends in the process. 

"At least you're still here, Basil." 

"Of _course_ , dear boy. I wouldn't dream of leaving." And at least Basil could still talk despite Crowley having left. Basil was actually quite loquacious when he wanted to be, and had a whole lot of opinions on just about everything. Zira had a feeling this was the reason animals weren't supposed to talk.

–

Crowley wanted to scream at himself. Over three _months_! Why oh why had he ever invented snooze buttons anyway? Nevermind he hadn’t set an alarm in the first place, his phone should’ve known better than to not try waking him up by now. The device had found itself locked in the boot of his Bentley for its misdeeds. 

_Three months!!_ He’d only had two years left in the first place and here he was sleeping them away! Oh but what did the silly game matter when Aziraphale had somehow lost his memories? He should be working to infiltrate heaven and find the culprit, but after so long, Crolwey knew he needed to check up on Zira first. Hopefully the kid hadn’t gotten into any trouble while he was gone.

–

The South Downs was an odd place for someone like Aziraphale to be hiding. The angel had always seemed to stick towards larger towns and more populous areas through the ages. If it had been Crowley hiding though, the South Downs would probably have been the first place Aziraphale would’ve looked for him. 

Despite his image, Crowley always preferred time spent in the country, not stuck elbow to elbow with the locals. Less traffic also meant he spent less energy miracling other travelers out of his way when he drove. Which is exactly how he was attempting to settle his nerves as he made his way to Zira. 

Stopping by the boy’s school would be a decent way to check in without having to risk seeing Basil too. Something about the other snake made Crowley want to stick around, but he just couldn’t! The game wasn’t over until Aziraphale was identified and acknowledged it. And that wouldn’t happen until he could restore Zira’s memories.

That in mind, Crowley slowed his speed as the Bentley entered the school’s car park.

It seemed classes had just let out for the day. Ah, and there was Zira coming down the pavement. Crowley leaned on the steering wheel as he observed the boy walking alone until a small group of other children came up to him and started harassing him.

Oh that just wouldn’t do.

–

Zira wasn’t surprised when the usual group of his peers approached him after classes. These were the few he’d taken to his home to show off his “new talking snake”, only to find Crowley gone and Basil tight-lipped. The garter snake had apologized afterwards, but the damage had been done.

“Hey, Fell! Talk to any snakes lately?”

Zira sighed and stopped as the group surrounded him. He knew they wouldn’t try anything physical, but their teasing really did grate. Weren’t they tired of it yet? “Hullo, Linsey…” He responded, no need to be rude back, after all. 

“Got any new lies to tell today, Fell?” said Linsey, the leader of this little band of minor bullies. 

“Yeah! Any new lies, Fell?” Her skinny cohort, a boy Zira was pretty sure was named Noah, pitched in, while the third in their group, Ainsley, stood watch for anyone who might try to get them in trouble.

Zira frowned, “I’m not a liar!” It wasn’t his fault Crowley wasn’t there, right? Oh how he wished he hadn’t told the other kids about the snakes in the first place.

“You are too! Snakes don’t talk, Fell! You’re just making stuff up for attention!”

“Well that seems kind of harsh, don’t you think?” The group of children froze, darting their heads around in search of the adult whose voice had just interrupted them. No adults were in sight though, Ainsley had been watching for them. So who–?

“Snake!” Noah shouted, pointing dramatically at a small black snake with a red belly that was very rapidly moving closer.

“Crowley!” Zira gasped, bending over to pick Crowley up as the blacksnake in question slithered up to the small band of children. “Where have you been? How did you find me at school?”

“Oh, er, you know, animal’s talk. Wasn’t hard to track you down.” Crowley lied his currently nonexistent pants off.

“You mean more than snakes?”

“...What?”

“You said animals talk! Does that mean snakes aren’t the only ones who can talk? Can dogs talk? I have a dog!”

“What about cats?”

“Or deer!”

“You don’t have a deer.”

“No, but so what? If pets can talk, wild animals could too, right?”

“Ooohhkay, I see where this is going. As fun as it is to see you kids arguing about talking pets and whatnot, I’ll have to burst your bubble. Most animals don’t talk, I’m just a special case is all.”

“Special case?”

Zira began petting the small black snake and gave the group a wide grin. “Crowley’s a magic snake! He even made Basil talk.”

“What?!” “No way!” “That’s so cool!”

The trio of former harassers exchanged contemplative looks for a moment before turning to Zira as one. “Can we see?” They all begged, and who was Zira to deny his new (potential) friends?

“Sure, just let me call my mum first. She’ll probably want to make snacks.” The other children cheered louder at the thought of his mother’s home cooking as the boy slipped away to use the phone. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Crowley asked, not feeling quite deserving of thanks after practically abandoning the kid to the wolves for months.

“You came back, is all. You didn’t have to.”

The demon in snake form wilted at Zira’s apparent lack of self worth. “‘Course I came back. Can’t leave you alone, can I?”

“I guess not.” Zira smiled, thinking how lucky he was to have two amazing pets like he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can join me on [Discord](https://discord.com/invite/G6vPRmn) to chat!


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